The summer months are past and today as I made the short trek to our compost heap, behind the woodpile this morning (pail in one hand and child in the other), I looked longingly at our dead gardens. Flowers, onions, tomatoes, squash, peppers and cilantro are all ripped out and the grapes – still in their first year – are hanging limply on the arbor I built for them. We’ve only started winter and I’m already craving the greenery of summer. I know there’s a universal appreciation for new growth, life and beginnings, but there’s also the particular desire of one to see their own home life open into life and growth, but this is not the season for turning outwards and growing life. December is a season of waiting, hunkering down and turning inward. 

One way I’m turning inward right now is by writing down my thoughts. Lord knows I have a lot these days and not enough people to talk to about them. If you’re part of my community, you’ll notice that when I start talking about something important to me – right now that’s mostly parenting and a very particular potential bike path – I just keep talking.

Sigh. And rather than just talk to my little tribe about things they’ve already experienced or they haven’t experienced yet, or don’t want to experience, I’m turning to my computer to put thoughts down for others who may have interest in parenting, too. I haven’t always been interested in parenting though.

I thought I’d be single and I thought I’d have no children. I was mostly ok with that, but now in my 40s I’m married with a child. This was and continues to be a bit of a shock, so when our daughter was still in the womb and my brother-in-law asked what books I was reading about raising a child and choosing a particular philosophy, I couldn’t answer. I sheepishly admitted to this well read man that I hadn’t read any books. The truth though, was that I wasn’t interested in parenting philosophies. Who has time for the petty arguments between the different schools of thought on such matters? But then, one dark, cold, Covid morning I heard an interview with Michaeleen Doucleff, author of Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans. Suddenly I had a desire to read a book on parenting. I did. And I loved it.

Doucleff writes about her experiences of talking and observing various cultures around the world where the children are helpful and content. The people she learns from aren’t coming up with their own philosophies. They aren’t conducting studies or interviewing professionals. They are simply passing down information from generation to generation and their children are turning out beautifully. 

Many of the wisdom pieces she writes about are, I suspect, woven into the back history of people currently living in the United States. My own included. When reading through this book I thought of my background as an Anabaptist and about family members who bemoan the fact that we’re losing our Anabaptist Mennonite traditions. I puzzle over this concern. In many ways the women with this concern are correct. We’ve lost our traditions in terms of clothes and food, but when I think about our life in terms of community values, faith and connection to the land, then I think we’ve done a decent job of holding some of them – even if they’ve morphed a bit through the generations. 

There’s so much to write regarding what it means for me in particular to be a good mama, a child from an Anabaptist tradition, a Mennonite who cares about children, a parent who wants to axe traditions that don’t bring life and pass on ones that do. That’s my goal for this blog. Not only that though. I am interested in the universal. I want to learn about the experiences of others from different backgrounds – especially when those backgrounds have passed down wisdom of parenting that raises strong, respectful, helpful and contented children. And I want to see where the truths of parenting in different cultures cross paths with my own experiences and culture.

Join me. Let’s talk. And maybe we can start with gardening? My garden (like most gardens right now) is still dead. The only thing I’m doing to the soil these days is adding compost to it, but if you have thoughts and opinions on parenting, gardening or on how gardening informs your parentings, please, share!