Parental taglines. Nope. I haven’t read anything about them, but I’ve been handed one from each of my parents and I have one to hand on to our child. Do you know what I’m talking about? I’m speaking about one piece of wisdom and/or advice you find a depth of truth in that you naturally share with your child. Let me give my examples.

I was facing a large decision in my mid 30s and although I was moving in one direction I was feeling uneasy. I needed honest, loving feedback so I turned to my parents. I’d never just drove to their house and asked for full attention, but late one particular evening I did just that. I asked if they would sit down to talk. Obligingly they pulled their chairs up to me and proceeded to listen earnestly as I poured out my thoughts and angst. Following the monologue they each – not wanting to make any decisions for me – tepidly began finding a way forward in offering advice. 

What I remember in that long conversation was my dad cautioning me to pay attention to my feeling of unease. He emphasized the importance of feeling a sense of peace when making a decision. He expanded on that saying that he doesn’t think the church emphasizes enough this importance. Since our sit down conversation he has used that message sparingly, but at critical points when I’m needing wisdom.

Ok, so it’s not actually a tagline, but if he had a specific phrase on peace, it would be his tagline. 

My mom’s tagline is different. She read Henri Nouwen’s book, With Open Hands. In high school when I was talking about whatever worries were on my mind, mom shared with me about this book, which speaks of how we are given life as a gift. To receive that gift, we must open our hands. Then of course, things are taken away. Instead of grasping those things that we so desperately want to hold on to, it’s better to just open our hands and release them, whether it’s a dream, health, person, etc. Now, if I speak to her about aspects of my life that are difficult, all she has to do is turn both palms of her hands up and I know what she is saying. She’s saying, “Enter this with open hands, Little One.”

Ok, so again it’s not actually a tagline, but if her movement of palms up could speak, the meaning of that gesture would be her tagline.

Another example: often, when parent’s leave their children somewhere they say something like,”Be good,” or “Be careful,” or “Don’t do something I wouldn’t do.” That’s fine, but I read a story about a mama who, before leaving her child would say, “It’s a big world out there, little one. Be wise.” In this tagline she is emphasizing the vastness and complexity of the world. She’s naming the humble truth of a person’s little, finite self (which applies, I would argue, even to the great historical giants in world history) and calling her to think and act wisely. What a magnificent message to pass on to a child.

My tagline(ish) comes from a job I held where I I traveled to homes and spoke with individuals about the organization I worked for. When asked how we were doing, I found myself explaining to these people how our organization was walking between holy terror and excitement. I explained that it seems like when you’re walking this paradox, then you’re where you need to be. Most individuals seemed to understand that kind of space. Often people experience the feeling with this paradox when they’re starting a job that they really want, but it’s going to ask more of them than they’ve given before.  Perhaps you’ve experienced it when speaking truth to power. Maybe you’ve had the feeling before of needing a frank conversation with someone you love. You really want a conversation because the relationship is strained and you know it will be hard, but it calls you to enter fully into maturity and to be open to reconciliation. Or maybe you’re asked to speak with a group about something near and dear to your heart. You’re not a public speaker, but you know your message needs to be heard. The space between real fear that makes you shake and the excitement that propels you to continue walking forward is what I’m talking about.

Life is complicated and increasingly confusing, but when our child is living her life and trying to figure out which directions to move into I want to help her think for herself . I know there will be times when less is more. I don’t want to sermonize. Just get my deepest truth out there for her. I want to name the tagline she has heard before from previous conversations and let her roll that around in her head. For me, that phrase is, “holy terror and excitement.” Is this thing before her simply fluffy excitement? Is is mostly fear? Is it still mirky? There is more to life than holy terror and excitement, but this can be a true north when the decision(s) requires careful awareness. My hope for her is that she will experience significant moments of holy terror and excitement in her life because I believe, with my whole heart, that when you hit a place like this, its holy ground and God is moving. In cases like this, the answer is always to just walk forward.